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Cultivate Abundance in 2023 Forgiveness

Why is it so hard to forgive ourselves for our mistakes or others for theirs? Why do we hold on to the pain associated with it? It's like we become addicted to the anger, hurt, and sorrow until we realize that it's hurting us more to be attached to this prisoned experience.

Each experience in our lives is designed to teach us how to evolve into our inner truth and power. We can never heal when we let emotional and physical trauma take control of our lives. But sometimes, we fall into these patterns and become attached to bad experiences. The negative feelings we get through hate, fear, anger, and pain effects all of our energy bodies so much that it also shows up in our physical bodies.

How does pain show up in our bodies? I use the chakra system to understand where the pain is coming from and how I can heal it, so it doesn't become chronic.

Once one breaks free from the prisoned feelings and emotions from trauma and take steps to heal, they can be free from pain on all levels, including the physical body.

Choosing forgiveness isn't one step; forgive, and you're free. It's a process. Imagine how many layers of onion there are. You peel a darker, exposed layer, revealing a brighter, crispier layer. But you can see that the next layer is still worn down from exposure, so you peel another layer, and each layer reveals a newer, beautiful layer. Can you imagine the human healing process like this? Each time we let go of something and forgive, we get to peel that layer off our energy bodies and feel happier and healthier.

I had a traumatic childhood. I lived in poverty and grew up with my mom until I was eleven. When I was eleven, I asked my aunt to live with her because my life with my mom was unhealthy. My needs weren't met, and I never experienced the loving family I needed. I was drawn to my aunt because she showed me the kind of love my mother didn't know how to give. It felt right to live with my aunt, and I'm forever grateful that she allowed space in her home for me to grow up and live with her family until I was 18.

My healing process didn't start then. It took three more decades to understand my early childhood and adolescent effects on me. I also didn't live with my parents through my teen years. I didn't realize the effects of the childhood I had until I was 40 years old. I made a lot of mistakes and learned from all of them. I don't know who I would be if I had grown up in a stable home. Maybe I wouldn't appreciate life & the importance of health the way I do today if I didn't have challenges growing up. I am so thankful for those challenges. I forgave those who didn't pave the perfect path because I am a better person today. I forgave myself for the mistakes I made growing up as well. This was a very crucial part of my healing journey. Learn from your choices, understand why you made them, forgive, and love, and you will be a wiser, more evolved version of yourself.

Your challenges develop your strengths.

My mom had a more traumatic childhood than I did. She experienced things that a child should never experience, and her pain was virtually impossible to heal. The generational trauma in my mom's family goes deep. Because she held so much pain, she learned to numb the pain through alcohol. It's how she knew how to numb her feelings. She continued until her pain was too hard to handle. One thing people forget when going through a painful experience from the past is it's important to feel. Don't numb your feelings so you don't have to deal with them. It will continue to build up and get larger until it eventually manifests in the physical body. Pain needs a place in the body to call home if it's not released. I will explain more in the coming blog posts about how the chakra system is affected by our energy, and our energy is affected by the chakra system.

My mother wasn't the mom she could have been or wanted to be, but if she had learned how to move through her trauma through therapy and other healing modalities, she would have been a different mother.

Even with the trauma and pain my mother experienced, she couldn't forgive. It was unimaginable.

To heal, even the unimaginable can be forgivable.

Forgiving isn't one step, forgive and be done, and you're free. It's a process. Imagine all the layers of an onion. There are so many layers! You peel a darker, exposed layer, revealing a brighter, crispier layer. But you can see the next layer is still worn down from exposure, so you peel another layer. Each layer reveals a newer, more beautiful layer. The healing process is much like an onion. It takes time, dedication, compassion, letting go, and releasing our past, to reveal a brighter future. It is possible! Let me show you how.

1) Identify the pain you have in your body. Acknowledging the pain indicates where your emotional and mental bodies have trapped your difficult experience. Sitting with the pain sends a signal to your body that you acknowledge it, are ready to release it, and heal.

2) Talk to someone. Talk to anyone; a therapist, a loved one, a friend. Whoever will listen without judging or giving advice. You don't need advice from a friend unless you ask for it. All you need is a judgment-free zone to let it all out. That's why a certified therapist is a good idea to tell your story to.

3) Meditate on the person or experience that has hurt you. This could even be yourself. Just sit, observe and let this come to the surface. There can be a lot of releasing, which is essential in the healing process. Let it all go, tears and all! It will feel worse as you begin to heal. But eventually, it will begin to become easier.

4) Thank this experience and the person associated with your pain for revealing itself to you. I know this seems weird, but it begins to take less control over you when you release the negative attachment you have to the pain through gratitude.

In a previous blog post, I wrote to be grateful for the good, bad & ugly. Thank the ugly for showing you the pain so you can learn from the experience and become a better version of yourself.

5) Forgive and let it go. This will be freaking hard, but it is essential! When you forgive, you let go of the emotional wounds that power over you. Those pain layers begin to fall off. This leaves space in your body for healing, and transformation to a lighter, free you. You may still feel the energetic past creeping up on you, but the more you let it go and forgive, it begins to fade away.

5) Love. There are gaps in your energy field when you forgive and let go of everything holding onto you. Fill those gaps with loving compassion. Love heals, and the more love you have in yourself, the better you feel. Love is free and limitless.

I only listed five steps because the healing process through forgiveness is hard. There are many other layers. In my opinion, this is easy to understand and remember. It's truly magical!

I read many books to understand trauma and forgiveness. Here are four books I read that were transformational in my healing journey. You don't have to read all of them. If one speaks to you, give it a read. Forgiveness is the main piece in all of these books.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle Paperback – by Mark Wolynn (Author)

What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Oprah Winfrey (Author, Narrator), Bruce D. Perry (Author, Narrator), Macmillan Audio (Publisher)

Radical Forgiveness: A Revolutionary Five-Stage Process to Heal Relationships, Let Go of Anger and Blame, and Find Peace in Any Situation Paperback – January 1, 2010

by Colin Tipping (Author)

I hope you learned something new today, and if you know someone who can benefit from reading this thread, share it away!

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1 comentario

Dolores Toft
Dolores Toft
17 ene 2023

Shanna, this is so true! I am so grateful you are in our family! You are constantly trying to help us all "be better - mentally and physically!

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